 Does anyone else have this problem? I have had to walk on eggshells for the past 2 yrs around my daughter. ANYTHING I say, do, buy is WRONG! It actually churns my stomach since she has grown up to be the exact same as her father and his mother. Is it heriditary<~spelling? She was the BEST lil girl any mom could ask for. Even up to just 2 yrs ago when she turned 22. She had a baby w/her then B/F and I took care of the baby w/true love for 24/7. That was when she was 17, 18, 19, 20. Then she met her now husband who is a great guy, and he is NOT the problem what so ever, but I understand he can't help me cuz she is THE BOSS! Her father and his family had very little to almost nothing to do w/ her because they did not like me because I was divorced and had 2 little kids when I met her dad. We split up when she was @ 10 yrs old and she has since had a little contact w/them. NOW, since she got married, she is ALL GUSHING over how great her dad is and his wife. How great her step sister and her friends are. How great they all (her fathers family... who by the way still has NOTHING to do w/me since day 1) After I put in all my blood sweat and tears of true love for her and her baby, NOW that shes an adult and not living w/me, they accept her. And it hurts so much BECAUSE, even though she knows better and has lived and grown up w/me, she brown noses them because she finally has a "real family"! Before it was just me , her and my first two children. She has had a loving home and family but it wasn't the ideal...2 parent, own home , swimming pool, fensed in yard w/a dog aka..."white picket fense" family. When I told her how much this hurt me after all they put me through since she was born, she totally ignors me. Doesnt have a minute to talk but will go there for a B-B-Q!! I'm soooo sad I wish I would die in my sleep . She has turned TOTALLY into one of them. I didn't get invited to the babys christening because "they" would feel uncomfortable. I'm soooooooooo sick in my heart, I miss the boys more than anything in the world. Does anyone have any advise on what I should do. I've asked, begged, pleaded, for her to let me visit or her to visit , to take the kids to the park , mcdonald's... She thinks I'm the "white trash" person because they have beautiful homes and cars and I don't because I didnt apply myself and was only a waitress. She truly turned into her fathers mother. THAT is the same things she said about me since she met me(her grmother). HelPPPPPPP
|
copysa1211
Posts:
1
Registered:
12/20/11
|
|
(4 of 4)
Re: Adult daughter uses my 2 grchildren to hurt me.
Jan 11, 2012 9:23 PM
|
|
I think ,it's not a rare problem.Nowadays we can see the same situation in most of the families.When children grown up,they are starting to avoid their parents,and they will give more importance to their new family set up.Now this is the culture of our new generation.If we want to change this ,the whole family set up should be change..
*DON'T cry over anyone who won't cry over you*
|
|
|
liikestotravel2
Posts:
3
From:
Ontario
Registered:
7/18/11
|
|
(3 of 4)
Re: Adult daughter uses my 2 grchildren to hurt me.
Jul 18, 2011 7:08 AM
|
|
Hi. I am also in a similar situation. My youngest daughter had for years been verbally abusive to me..calling me crazy grandma in the grandchildren presence. She was also very mean to me. Actually after my husband of 31 years gave me the boot..she also gave me the boot. I moved out thinking it was temporary and she moved in. She became a daddys girl and became upset with me saying I should act like a Mother..I dont deserve to be treated like this..I have supported her and did everything in my power to make her a good citizen.My daughter decided to help her father get back in the swing of things and wrote his profile for a dating service. He is now looking for a long term relationship. He was and perhaps still is a Dr Jeryll and Mr. Hyde. I thought we were a family with family ties..but it has ended now. I know she is in pain and I tried to renew our friendship but it did not work. I still dont know where she lives. It has been over 2 years now and she is thinking of getting married. I will not attend the wedding because I feel . I have no feelings for her because of the pain. It saddens me very much but I must have peace and try to move on.
My other daughter is also not speaking to me because of this...and I can understand her. She is upset most of the time with her children and her husband. My exhusband talks to me when necessary but now the family I once had is no more. I have decided to move on and live in peace as a single person but deep in my heart I really wish we were a family together. I am descent and dont deserve this. I am lucky to have a few close friends who have taken the time to talk to me...One saying that comes to mind is..we have created these monsters. I dont know where my adult children live ..one has recently moved...It hurts knowing I gave of myself ..I devoted my time..was a stay at home Mom..for the first few years...attended sports..and so on..not perfect but tried to raise a loving family with values...I dont want to be accepted as a dumb person..with no brains...just accepted as a good person with some brains...Now...only to find ...I travel alone..live alone...work hard...and will try to move on...Crying..only upsets me..knowing now I will not see them....so sad.My exhusband agrees that I have been treated very badly by my two adult children...knowing how good I have been to them.....Hope my story helps others.
|
|
|
TooYoungToFeelThisOld
Posts:
2
From:
Texas
Registered:
7/14/11
|
|
(2 of 4)
Re: Adult daughter uses my 2 grchildren to hurt me.
Jul 14, 2011 5:23 PM
|
|
I'm really sorry that this has happened. But, honestly, right now the only thing I can tell you is to focus on something else to make yourself happy. She is hurting you so much that she is making you want to die... that is control over you that she should not have. I know you love your grandchildren and I know it must hurt deeply to not be able to see them.
But, honestly, if she wants to be this fickle, then there is nothing you can do about it. You may just have to wait to see if she will come to her senses. I would leave her alone.
Find something that you've always wanted to do that would make YOU happy and do it. Mail the kids cards and presents and let them know you care. But leave her alone for a while and see if she'll come around.
Hugs
|
|
|
grammadoh
Posts:
1
From:
Buffalo NY
Registered:
6/28/11
|
|
(1 of 4)
Adult daughter uses my 2 grchildren to hurt me.
Jun 28, 2011 3:45 PM
|
Does anyone else have this problem? I have had to walk on eggshells for the past 2 yrs around my daughter. ANYTHING I say, do, buy is WRONG! It actually churns my stomach since she has grown up to be the exact same as her father and his mother. Is it heriditary<~spelling? She was the BEST lil girl any mom could ask for. Even up to just 2 yrs ago when she turned 22. She had a baby w/her then B/F and I took care of the baby w/true love for 24/7. That was when she was 17, 18, 19, 20. Then she met her now husband who is a great guy, and he is NOT the problem what so ever, but I understand he can't help me cuz she is THE BOSS! Her father and his family had very little to almost nothing to do w/ her because they did not like me because I was divorced and had 2 little kids when I met her dad. We split up when she was @ 10 yrs old and she has since had a little contact w/them. NOW, since she got married, she is ALL GUSHING over how great her dad is and his wife. How great her step sister and her friends are. How great they all (her fathers family... who by the way still has NOTHING to do w/me since day 1) After I put in all my blood sweat and tears of true love for her and her baby, NOW that shes an adult and not living w/me, they accept her. And it hurts so much BECAUSE, even though she knows better and has lived and grown up w/me, she brown noses them because she finally has a "real family"! Before it was just me , her and my first two children. She has had a loving home and family but it wasn't the ideal...2 parent, own home , swimming pool, fensed in yard w/a dog aka..."white picket fense" family. When I told her how much this hurt me after all they put me through since she was born, she totally ignors me. Doesnt have a minute to talk but will go there for a B-B-Q!! I'm soooo sad I wish I would die in my sleep . She has turned TOTALLY into one of them. I didn't get invited to the babys christening because "they" would feel uncomfortable. I'm soooooooooo sick in my heart, I miss the boys more than anything in the world. Does anyone have any advise on what I should do. I've asked, begged, pleaded, for her to let me visit or her to visit , to take the kids to the park , mcdonald's... She thinks I'm the "white trash" person because they have beautiful homes and cars and I don't because I didnt apply myself and was only a waitress. She truly turned into her fathers mother. THAT is the same things she said about me since she met me(her grmother). HelPPPPPPP |
|
|
|
|
